The Beasts of the Creation
As Adam and Eve left the garden
with their heads hung low, their misery dripped down their faces. They no longer walked with courage, but
made their shame and remorse known. The animals even knew their faults. Their
disobedience left a stench in the fresh air.
The couple dropped to their knees,
praying and pleading with God to bless their new life outside the garden.
Coming from napping under the green palms and taking walks with the hyenas,
they feared their lives for the animals had grown to hate them. The creature’s
love belonged to their Creator, and now that Adam and Eve betrayed Him, they
became fierce. God no longer protected the humans from these majestic animals
for his list of favorites had twisted.
Instead of pity, God unleashed these beasts of the garden to
freely roam and eat as they pleased.
Adam and Eve were making their way
to their cave when they heard steps approaching them from behind. Not thinking
anything of it, they continued down the path to their new rocky abode. Only a
few more steps further and growls were released from these animals. The lion
was leading the pack with the elephants and cheetahs following close behind.
Adam swiftly turned over his left shoulder to see such a sight!
“Run,” he yelled. Both the man and
woman sprinted literally as if cheetahs were chasing them. With sweat dripping
down Eve’s brow, she started heavily breathing and having trouble catching her
breath. Not long after this she unknowingly approached a single ivy branch growing
out of the pebbles on the ground. She tripped, falling straight down, but
before her face hit the ground, the pebbles opened to a mystical dark hole.
Adam ran until he hit the cave, but
as he turned back, Eve was no longer in his sight. He now had the two options.
He could run back, face the fired up animals and look for his love or stand
praying for her life.
He started toward the smoky cluster
when he stepped down into an abyss. “AHHHHYEEEOOOOOO,” Adam screamed as fell
1,000 feet down to a land of colorful, fluffy feathers. On his way down he
blacked out having no idea where he ended up. His fear took over his thoughts
until his eyes finally opened to the face of his beautiful wife, Eve, smiling
and shadowing his body with hers. She leaned in and hugged his sweaty body so
tightly to show her happiness and relief.
God had tested Adam’s sacrificial love
for Eve, in which he passed with flying colors, leaving them both in a safe
home amongst the feathers.
Author’s Note: “The Beasts of the Creation” from the Mythology and Folklore UN-Textbook (2014) comes
from Genesis, the first book of the Bible. More specifically, the story is
about Adam and Eve, the first human beings God created in the Garden of Eden.
The original story is about Adam and Eve leaving their old home in the garden
to live in a cave. They were kicked out because of their sin against God. He
told them to enjoy His creation to its fullest, but to avoid The Tree of the
Knowledge of Good and Evil. After being enticed by Satan who was in the form of
a snake, Eve ate the fruit produced from the forbidden tree. While in the
garden, the couple became friends with the animals, but once they left, the
animals changed their attitudes toward the humans and became feisty. Adam and
Eve prayed for God’s grace to protect them from the animal’s anger, in which
His grace prevailed. I wanted to change the story around to shock the reader.
In my version of the story, God did not protect them from the animals and gave
the creatures free reign. This gave me creative freedom. The underlying purpose
of the story continued to be grace, which is what I am using for the theme of
my final Storybook.
Bibliography: The Forgotten Books of Eden, edited by Rutherford H.
Platt, Jr. (1926): The First Book of Adam and Eve 7-8-9.
Very interesting story. I thought it seemed odd for God to just let the animals run wild after Adam and Eve (very out of character), but the ending makes it clear that it was only a test. Your rewrite is probably much more exciting than the original story. I doubt there was an animal chase scene (at least in this story) in the bible. There were a couple of words that seemed out of place in the story (this is just my opinion, though). "Mystical dark hole," "fired up," and "passed with flying colors" feel a little too informal in the context of the whole story which has a very formal and sophisticated tone. I like the picture you chose to include with the story, but I feel like it would have fit better near the beginning when it's talking about how they used to live in harmony with the animals. However, I understand the difficulties of deciding where to place a picture. If you put it somewhere in the middle of the story (near relevant material), it may make the layout of the story look odd and disrupt fluid reading. Overall, I enjoyed your story. Good job!
ReplyDeleteHey Brooke!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your story! I have read the biblical story of Adam and Eve several times so it was nice reading a different take on it. One of my favorite things about your story was how detailed it was. It was so detailed I felt like I was there; it was easy for me to picture what was going on. You portrayed Adam and Eve's fear and nervousness very well. For instance when you mentioned that Eve was sweating on her brow or when Adam and Even "swiftly" ran away from the animals.
I also really liked the picture you selected. It really portrays the diverse animals that accompanied Adan and Eve. And I also noticed that in the picture, far back, it looks like Adam and Eve are holding hands. This is significant in that it illuminates Adam's and Eve's love for each other, which is the main aspect of the story.
Brooke,
ReplyDeleteI really liked the twist you chose to make on this. I think it's interesting because it gives Adam some credit and redemption for the way that he chooses to handle it. Instead of just relying on God for protection, Adam makes his own moves to provide mankind some redemption. I also really liked the photo you decided to use.
Hey Brooke,
ReplyDeleteI really liked your version of this story. It was super fun to read and kept me both engaged and enticed by what you were writing. I like the dichotomy between the animals in the garden, who were friendly and loving of the humans, to the animals outside of it, who were hungry wild creatures that hated the humans for betraying God. You made everything very vivid with all the detail you put into this too, which I really liked. I love when people write with enough detail that imagine the story happening before me. You did an awesome job!
Hello Brooke this week for my projects comment assignment I chose your story to use.
ReplyDeleteYour version of this story did a good job of giving just enough detail for a reader to stay engaged with the story without being bored by details if that makes sense. The layout of each paragraph was similar which I think you could change up and possible expand in a few spots and that would eliminate a little of the choppiness that I felt while I was reading this story. The subject matter you chose was a great choice. The Bible tells these stories with a straight forward approach, so there is so much room to expand on the stories much like the original piece you chose from the UNText section did, and think you did a good job of doing the same. The picture you chose was great, and placing it at the bottom of the page instead of the top was a good decision. Over all you did a great job.
I appreciate how your blog is formatted with something other than the default template. I also liked your version of this story. You gave us a good amount of detail and made it fun to read. However, I think you could combine some of these paragraphs so it doesn't look so choppy. I know that it's a stylistic choice, and it doesn't detract from the story, but it's just a suggestion. Overall, you did a great job retelling this story.
ReplyDelete